There are times in life when circumstances hit you, regrets split you and no job description seems to fit you, leading you towards your breaking point. You can't bow down to these feelings, you have to find that strength within.
What do I mean by that? Well, it could mean different things for different people, but for me it means changing my mindset from a negative one to a positive one. I used to be the most optimistic person I know and now I've been infected with pessimism - I don't like it. It's affected the way I see myself, to the point that when other people say things about me I don't even believe them. That's not cool. This whole self pity thing really doesn't go with my soul, so why am I wearing it?
A lot of things have been said to me which have had a negative effect on me, but is man bigger than God? Not even. Isaiah 2:22, in the Bible, puts it this way: "Stop regarding man in whose nostrils is breath, for of what account is he?" The context is that as great as man pretends to be, as lofty as they make themselves in their own eyes, God can easily destroy them because He is much greater. And I think as much as I hear it and as much as I try to understand and believe it, I still behave as if man has the ultimate say in how my life will turn out. And why, because I'm interviewed by men? And men have marked my exams? And men own companies? Rubbish, men cannot dictate my future, but God can. I've let some things sink in which I shouldn't have, I almost stopped believing in myself, and for what reason?
God is able to do exceedingly abundantly beyond what we can ask or imagine, but these days something in me has been preventing me from even asking or imagining. This is not healthy for my soul - not at all. So for me, finding the strength within first of all means shaking off the doubt I can do without. After that, I will be free to find it. And for me, that strength within is the authority which Jesus Christ has granted me through His Holy Spirit. That is what is going to restore my confidence and drive me on to be the man that God purposed me to be.
There is no time to wallow in self pity and the like. There isn't enough energy to be wasted on doubting yourself. I'm speaking to myself, but I'm also speaking to you. Get up, shake it off and move forward. Find the strength within. Don't be afraid to try things differently. You may be fragile but you don't have to be broken.
Carpe diem.
