FEELING A BIT LOW?

Lately I have been hearing/ reading/ seeing a lot about thinking and speaking positively and feeling good about yourself. These things made me obtusely aware of something. It seems that the more I've tried to encourage myself the worse I've ended up feeling. I realise now that I've been doing it the wrong way. The problem is I've been trying to encourage MYSELF. My opinion of myself is always going to be skewed one way or another because it's my opinion. One point of view. It gives me steam for a little bit and then the engine just stops dead in its tracks.

What am I saying? That I should rely on my friends to encourage me? Not even. That's even more dangerous than relying on me to encourage me because a day will come when the compliment tap will stop running. And it even when it is running it still doesn't fill the void. Feeling confident in yourself is not to be mistaken with ego trips. I believe the ability to feel good about yourself comes from humility and not pride. Think about it. Pride makes you look to yourself for strength. The weight of supposed expectation is what makes you think about yourself in a negative light in the first place. If you were able to see beyond yourself as a competitor of everyone else then it I think it would become easier to feel good about yourself.

I believe we have been offered a relief in the form of a relationship with God who does not discriminate against anyone. The God who gives everyone a fair chance to feel accepted. If we were able to fully accept this fact and keep it in mind we would probably spend more time with God. Who doesn't want to spend time with someone who loves them for who they are? Someone who sees them as a champion? God wants us to rely on Him for encouragement, reassurance. He wants to be the one you ask 'can I really do this?' because in truth only He knows. That's why Matthew 6:33 says:

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

If we seek God we will find EVERYTHING we're looking for. Our life has no choice but to fall into place. But knowing this, why is it easier to seek everything first and then look for God? A question I am still asking myself. All I know now is that life is bigger than I but it's not bigger than God. I trust that I am whatever he says I am.